people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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