I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
