He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
