do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the day after is always just damage control
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
