He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
