Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Me too!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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