Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
