i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
