My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize