Ambien. No doubt about it.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
