I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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