I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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