How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
