I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
