is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
