I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
