guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
