the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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