Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
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My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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