the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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