he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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