last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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