If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
this will be a night to untag.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
