my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
