I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
