If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
