...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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