How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
