I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
