Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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