chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
