I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
