i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
im on a boat
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