Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
