she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
