Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
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You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I need to sanitize my soul.
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I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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