this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize