i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
