i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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