I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
