wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
