stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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