Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
