A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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