I skipped work to stalk him.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
