I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When are your genitals available?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
