haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We are two peas in an std pod
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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