The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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