I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
