it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
