you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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