I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
