She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
