I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
