Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
