yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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