Plan B is the new Plan A
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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