The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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