There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
