those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
