Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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