Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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