Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
