I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
